Delta Airlines Can Go Jump in a Lake

That's the way it is today.

I'm out on a business trip. The weather is turning south, with T-storms, large hail, and possible tornadoes predicted for later today. So I go to the airport last night and ask to take the 6am flight today instead of the 11am flight.

The lady told me I would have to pay a hundred bucks.

But I've already paid for the flight, I told her. I have a seat. I have paid for the fuel. Aren't there any open seats on the 6am?

She says there are twenty open seats.

So don't re-ticket me. I'll just show up and go standby.

That'll be a hundred bucks, she repeats.

It took three airline employees to explain that yes, you used to be able to go standby home on an earlier flight if you had no bags to check. Nowadays, however, they charge you fifty dollars for the privilege.

I asked the manager to guess what I was thinking. I gave him a hint that he would not be happy with it.

"That's just part of the airlines trying to nickel and dime you out of more money," he admitted, "I've only been here a short time. There's nothing I can do."

Like always, there's nothing they can do. I pointed out to him that every time there is a problem with a flight -- it's late, they want to charge me too much, somebody made a mistake -- there's nobody there who can do anything. Everybody is just repeating policy. It's me versus the robots.

So I get it. Yes, I've been slow. As a libertarian, I firmly believe in the free markets to set prices and service levels. But if you're going to charge me for who I am instead of the service I'm buying, if you're going to make the transaction so opaque that I'm never sure what the terms of our trade is, if you're going to prevent any way for me to obtain recourse for a faulty transaction, then I'll have to seek the government for redress.

You guys win. I support a traveler's bill of rights. Even more, I support the idea of airlines being forced to have consistent fares for the same class of service to the same destinations. I support the elimination of hassle fees. Fuel is fuel. I support the clear and unambiguous meaning of having a ticket. I support airlines being required to explain why they are cancelling due to weather when other carriers are making the same flights at the same time.

Delta Airlines can go jump in a lake.