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Puns I wish I never heard

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From an email I just received.

(Warning! These are some groaners! Of course, if you a recalcitrant punster, you'll like 'em)

  • The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
  • I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
  • She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still
  • A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption
  • No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
  • A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
  • A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
  • Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
  • A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on ahead.'
  • A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
  • The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  • When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

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This page contains a single entry by Daniel published on September 25, 2008 4:11 PM.

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Daniel Markham