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Wood Pecker Song Excites Bird People
There were skeptics, sure. After the lost ivory-billed woodpecker was found this year, many bird watchers did not believe that the extinct bird actually was alive. Well, after hearing their songs on tape, the skeptics are now believers. Pandas might be rare too, but when one comes running wildly through your city, it can seem like they are everywhere. Unless you're a 54-year-old Hippo, in which case you have your own things to attend to: you're the oldest hippo in the world.
It's a wild animal world this week, with big cats that are so frisky the zoo has put them on birth control. And for those of you who always wanted to cut open a live dog (and whom among us hasn't) here's a CD-ROM that lets you do it on your computer. Just make sure the dog isn't Lassie, who is making a big comeback.
I used to watch Lassie a lot. Each week, there was another crises: Timothy fell in a well, Timothy got sick, house caught on fire, blind man loses his way. And there was Lassie, always saving the day. Some people thought she was smart -- but I disagree. How smart could a dog be and hang out with a bunch of losers like that?!?
At least she wasn't on drugs. Slate has a great article about how athletes say the dumbest things when they are caught on steroids -- it's called "The Dog Ate My Steroids". Here's a great quote:
"Nobody on the planet could say that I don't love my wife and I don't love my kids. … I have never in my life, nor would I ever, do anything to jeopardize their opinion of me. I don't know what has happened and I don't know how it has happened. I promise everybody I'm going to find out."
—Shot-putter C.J. Hunter, Sept. 25, 2000, after failing four separate tests for anabolic steroids
Sound like a very poor attempt at a Checkers Speech.
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