Breaking News: I am an Informon

I've spent much of my professional life learning new skills: database programming, object-oriented anlaysis and design, negotiation. Things that I think will help my clients on my future assignments. I guess you could say that the only way to be successful in the consulting game is to study deeply areas of interest several years before your clients realize they need help.

Lately, however, since I've been inventing various patentable processes and methods, I've had to learn some really weird stuff: IP Law. Not that I am anything near a learned novice in IP. I just have to learn some of it in order to keep from paying a lawyer so damn much.

I thought some of the technical phrases were strange! Here I'm reading a patent description (US#6029161) from Lycos. The description says it "...focuses on a mindpool system which develops collaboration informal rating data for use in filtering informons for a current user of a filter system..."

This is what happens when you combine lawyers and geeks. It ain't pretty, folks.

I've got to figure out what this means. I feel like I need a big chalkboard and I should start diagramming sentences like I did when I was in sixth grade.

First they talk about a mindpool system. Aside from some previous girlfriends who thought I was swimming in the shallow end of the mindpool, beats me what it is. So I first tried Google, which struck out. That's unusual. Then I tried Wikipedia, which also struck out. Finally I loaded up my backup super secret master search program (Copernic Agent). Copernic found the original patent, plus a mindpool "unofficial plastic tree site."

A mindpool unofficial plastic tree site? I wonder what the official plastic tree site would look like?

Now I don't think those Lycos fellows are working on any plastic trees, official or unofficial. There were a couple of german language hits, and a couple of consulting firms. I guess "mindpool" must be popular with some of the consulting wonks.

So how about the rest of the statement? "develops collaboration informal rating data" -- hey I get that. That means everybody pitching in to decide whether something is good or bad. What's the next line?

"...for use in filtering informons..."

WTF? What the heck is an "informon?"

Back to Google.

Zilcho.

Wiki.

Bupkis.

Gee. I gotta use my super secret search program two times on the first sentence of this patent? That ain't a good sign.

Ok fine. I'm not afraid of no sentence from Lycos. So what do I get? Here's the first match that came up. A magazine called "The Informon". It describes itself as "the being of the informational" or "A journal for the Study, Research, and Implementation of Virtual Systems Concerning the Innovative Philosophy, Science, and Mathematical Formalism of the.." and then it lists about 20 words like artificial, biology, quantum, experimental, and robotic.

Now you see what a little searching will get you? It's obvious that Lycos is creating some sort of artificial philosophy robot to make unofficial plastic trees.

This should be big news to the plastic tree business. I'm not sure they know that Lycos is moving in on their turf. Dang robots are taking over everything! I wonder if the new Lycos trees will be out by Christmas?

My point is, if I actually have a point, that combining law and technology is like combining fire and gasoline, or weasels and explosives, or philosophy and robots. Philosophy is bad enough when people talk about it. All we need are robots in the mix and we're not going to understand anything.

So I'm not too sure that I'm studying something future clients might like. Unless they are building a mindpool and need some help with the diving board. I might help, but I'm not going to be an informon. i might help with the quanutm philosophy robots, but a guy's got to have standards.