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Signs You Are Living in a Matrix
I believe the universe runs on a calculatable substrate. I don't believe this because I saw The Matrix, I believe it because of things like the Holographic Principle and Stephen Wolfram's A New Kind Of Science.
God may be a programmer, but I've done some code slinging myself, and I think it's about time we programmers helped out the folks in other universes. We may be living in a state-of-the-art universe 7.0 or something, but somebody is probably living in a universe running on Windows 23. For those guys, we should give them some help. Here are some signs you are living in a Matrix
- Every time you speak to your psychiatrist he turns around your sentence back into a question
- While visiting your bank you suddenly realize that all of the tellers are Russian and you're actually in an exact duplicate of your real bank
- You've won the European E-Mail lottery sixteen times in the last week
- Something's really strange with your TV. Whenever you turn the TV to one channel, it goes to a different channel and starts talking about hair growth pills
- Your son stops listening to you and to fix him you all have to leave the house and come back in one at a time
- You're on a hot date, and before you can get to second base you have to get out your credit card (This could also be a sign of something else)
- Your mother visits and starts telling you about a little boy with cancer who is getting postcards. At the end of the story, she insists that you must immediately tell seven other people or your nose will fall off
- Your friend starts singing a recent Madonna song and a big briefcase with DRM on it falls from the sky and squishes him
- There's a guy named "Google" who lives next door and seems to know the answers to everything
- The doctor tells you that you don't have long to live, and then asks if you want to renew your life for another year for $49.95
- When you turn the TV to one channel, a dozen other TVs appear in your living room all playing different commercials
- When you talk to people, a little glowing diamond appears over their head
- Every week when the garbage collector comes, he brings the trash to your front door and asks "Are you sure?"
- Everyday at the mailbox there are 14 pathetic Nigerians asking you for money
- You're playing a game in your dining room when six teenage gamers appear and start cursing each other
- You ask your girlfriend for a drink, and she turns an hourglass upside down and stops moving
- When you ask your minister if there is life after death, he asks you when you made your last backup
- Your neighbor asks you if you've heard the latest news, and when you say "no. What is it" he starts telling you about how great the new Chevy Tahoe is
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