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Signs You Have Too Little Process

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Use Case with Do Stuff written inside it
Is this all of your project documentation? Is it on a napkin?

I don't like rules very much. And I hate, really hate, paperwork. So how did I end up as a process expert? I finally realized that good process is not about rules or paperwork, it's about teaching common sense. Some of the things are non-intuitive, like good sotware development efforts should involve a small amount of programming. Some are common sense, like drawing boxes on a white board is a lot easier than fixing a program once it is in production.

I get a big kick out of going to shops that have too much process, as I've blogged about before, but I also get a kick out of shops that have no process at all. Sometimes it reminds me of visiting a chicken coop after a loud noise -- there's a lot of flapping, fluttering, and movement all over the place, but you're just not sure that anything is really happening. Of course, that's a large shop without process. In the small shops, plenty of stuff happens, especially when they haven't reached the point where somebody figures out that writing code is only about ten percent of the cost of having software, which takes a few years. But oh, those first few years! Everybody is happy, programs are cranking out the door, and the complexity is just creeping into everything. Software is about managing complexity, and process is about managing software. You don't have process, you got complexity problems.

So if you are a manager and have no idea what is going on in your shop, take heart. Perhaps you have too little process. Here are some handy-dandy clues that you might need a little more recipe book and less superman. Some of these are real-world examples.

Signs You Have Too Little Process

  • Instead of buying a help ticket system, you bought an office expresso machine with handlebars
  • The project manager is whoever lost the football pool last week
  • Somebody begins programming during the project kick-off meeting
  • Everything's a global variable because, hey, global variables are easier to remember
  • Making a schedule involves a credit card, a phone, and someone named Miss Cleo
  • Functions have meaningless names because you never know what the function is supposed to do until you are finished writing it
  • You're doing Test-Driven Development. No tests = No problems
  • They told you to start using classes, so now every function is it's own class
  • The current exit strategy involves taking your next paycheck to a bookie named Hoss
  • Part of your job description involves using The Force
  • You put finishing the program on hold because Oprah has booked Tom again
  • Your change control process involves arabic curses and the use of a voodoo doll
  • Your analysts are writing requirements by calling the programmers and asking them what they did last week
  • You've ever said "Who wrote this crap?" and then realized it was you
  • Any response to a question from management involves mentioning "The Man"
  • You pull the fire alaram and nobody goes outside
  • Reporting a bug means they have to find you first
  • USer acceptance testing involves taking three guys from accounting out to the local strip club
  • Testing consists of saying some words like "hey guys! Works on my machine!"
  • The last time somebody said coupling and cohesion to you was when they made you stop surfing those Elmer's Glue pron sites
  • The last project was broken up by commandos from the CMM
  • The compile button and the release button are wired together on your IDE
Unkempt man with rude shirt
Is this one of your programmers? Could be trouble ahead.

1 Comment

dear sir,

I need a fire alaram programe coding
for my recarch purpose plz kindly help for me.

regards,
prabhu

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This page contains a single entry by DanielBMarkham published on November 1, 2006 3:01 PM.

No I don't wanna do that was the previous entry in this blog.

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  • k.prabhuraam: dear sir, I need a fire alaram programe coding for read more

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