Good Coaching Means Being an Example

In the Agile coaching game, many times we coaches work as close as we can to several teams at one time. We’re there to provide structure, feedback, and a mentored learning environment as teams move to more agility. And of course, like any consultant, we’re paid smart friends. The client’s needs come ahead of our own.

But the goal is for the teams to become more Agile: to work better, faster, and have a happier work life and life balance.

So I was wondering how to handle a question we received a few weeks back. A friend and I were doing some Intro to Agile courses, and during one of the free-form discussions somebody flagged me over.

“So which is it?” he asked, “You told me we were supposed to have the sprint close, retro, and sprint planning all in the same day. This other guy says you split them up.”

He pointed at my friend. He was clearly frustrated.

I looked at my friend. I felt that the advice he was giving was not-so-good, but it was also important not to argue randomly in front of the client. On one hand I felt we were going the wrong way. On the other hand if we were to make the training too chaotic, nobody would get anything out of it.

“Hey, i do it this way,” I said, “and here’s the reasons”

“We’ve always told them this other way,” my friend said.

My friend and I kinda looked at each other. Both of us wondering: are we going to get into a long, boisterous discussion here? Is this the place?

So I looked back to the guy. I said “Look, I still feel my way is better, but it’s not that important thing. I like strawberry ice cream, you like chocolate. Let’s do it the way it’s always been done and see how it goes. We can always adapt later.”

There are a lot of coaches that would have a problem with this. Every little thing they coach is terribly important, and it must be done a certain way.

I’m not one of those people, and more to the point, when we coach we need to be an example. Do we want our teams full of people who either a) disagree all of the time and refuse to back down, or b) are so apathetic they can’t have an opinion on anything?

Of course not. And so we shouldn’t model that behavior. We should have “fierce opinions, lightly held” — be willing to explain and advocate, at length, why we feel a certain way. But never let that get in the way of things moving forward or the spirit of the team. Keep perspective.

I think a lot of time coaches (and the rest of us) get hung up on the details of coaching and forget the purpose of coaching.

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