Two things happened this week. I ran, and my ass fell off.
First the running. On Saturday I went to the gym with my wife. I am getting tired of the same old machines all the time, so I thought I’d try something different. Ever since I started planning for my surgery, my dream has been to be able to run like I could when I was younger. Running when you’re heavy is a very tricky matter. Sure, I could run for short distances, but long-term running was out of the question. Or, as I told my exercise guy at the surgical group, until I lost some serious weight the only thing I was going to do was blow out a knee. Your joints can only take so much stress.
Now that I’ve been losing, the question is “When do I start running?” If I start too soon, I could end up with injuries. But if I wait too late, I may never start. I kept putting off starting, and I’m the world’s best procrastinator.
Saturday was the day — or at least the day to test the waters.
I started in on jogging, figuring that I’d do a very easy jog as long as I felt comfortable. No trying to run as fast as I could or none of that nonsense. Just loping along. I had a heart rate monitor so I could keep an eye on how I was doing.
Turns out I did pretty well. All that hiking and working out on the elliptical machine, along with this new naturally low heart rate I have, made me able to run for a while without my pulse getting too high. I made it easily over a mile — maybe close to a mile and a third — before I quit. At the end I even tried out a runner’s “kick”, where you sprint the final little bit before the finish line.
Wow! Didn’t see that one coming! I can run!
Still, I’m going to play it cautious. Even with my weight loss, I weigh 30 pounds more than I did when I was a young whipper-snapper, and old bones and muscles aren’t as limber and flexible as young ones. I’m thinking once a week I’ll try running under very controlled conditions — inside, soft track, and so on. After losing another 20 pounds, say in 2 months, I’ll move it up to 2-3 times per week and take it outside. But for now, there’s no rush. Just little baby steps. I’m in no hurry to get laid up for months with a sports-related injury, especially now!
The other big thing that happened this week was I noticed my ass fell off. I found this most disturbing.
One of the things people dread the most when thinking of weight loss surgery is looking like an old bloodhound. You know, they have a really wrinkly face, and these huge flaps that hang off from their arms and belly. Going into the surgery the docs are pretty clear on the fact that you’re there for health reasons, not cosmetic ones. The goal isn’t to get you looking like a superstar model, it’s to allow you to live an extra 20 years that you might not get otherwise. If you live that time looking like you need ironing? Well then that’s just the price you pay.
So I was clear on the terms going in, but I still wondered how it would all play out. Would I look all wrinkly? Would I have these huge skin flaps hanging off of me? Would my face look like a bulldog’s?
Walking around the house last week, my wife said “you know, your butt has fallen off”.
I found this a rather unusual thing to say, so I went to look in the mirror. Sure enough, instead of a large butt that stuck way out and knocked over lamps, it looked like somebody had pulled the plug out and my butt just, well, deflated. Instead of a bunch of cushioning, I had wrinkly skin.
I lost my ass.
I’m also seeing extra skin around my middle section, which isn’t unusual since I’m losing a ton of pants sizes very quickly. My face also looks completely different than it used to. And this jives with what I’m hearing from my online support group: people notice their weight loss first in their faces and then in their butts.
Losing your ass, as you might imagine, can be very uncomfortable. I put a wallet in my back pocket and after driving for an hour my butt hurts. Same goes for sitting on hard wooden chairs. Without that normal rear bumper, it can hurt when you sit.
I still have no idea how this will all turn out. For some folks with serious skin flap issues, more surgery is required to get rid of it. The doctors usually want you to wait a year or two after you’ve stopped losing weight, just to make sure you’re not going to gain a bunch back and that the skin flap is staying. Also there are insurance requirements to consider. Most insurance policies will not cover having skin flaps removed unless you can show several months of recurring rashes and skin problems associated with them. Finally, they say having excess skin removed hurts like the dickens. I’ve heard people say it was worst than the weight loss surgery itself!
I’m hoping that the skin around my waist will get reabsorbed into my body as I continue to exercise. My face should work itself out also. But my butt? I may just have to get used to having a skinny butt (in reality a flat butt), and not worry about it. After all, I’m a guy. I think the last time I looked at my butt was 1980.
Now that I’m busy running my ass off, maybe I can start running my stomach off too!If you've read this far and you're interested in Agile, you should take my No-frills Agile Tune-up Email Course, and follow me on Twitter.