Been an interesting last couple of weeks.
First, my weight loss has slowed or stalled out. I’m not sure if this is normal or not, but, frankly, it sucks.
I’m getting back into the swing of things in my work. I’m involved more, have more energy, I’m doing more things that are mentally stressful, and I’m traveling, speaking and keeping my schedule off-balance enough that it’s difficult to stay in a routine. Usually when I’m busy and stressed, I just go through a drive-thru, pick up a 2,000 calorie meal, and absentmindedly eat it while watching Oprah or something. That don’t work any more even if I wanted it to. Of course, I’m sure I could always still try to make it work. With enough practice, I could probably end back up where I started.
I have increased my intake. While I don’t get the overpowering physical hunger like I used to, I do feel a kind of emptiness in my pouch that’s like hunger. Enough that it calls me to eat. I believe this is a result of my blood sugar dropping.
The bad news is, without a valve at the bottom of my stomach, I’m basically eating directly into my small intestine. This means, I think, that my blood sugar should be even more sensitive to spikes than it used to be. Kinda seems like a step backwards, eh? So my guess is that watching sugar intake for a RNY patient is very important.
So what I ended up doing last week is eating a protein bar sometime within the 2 hours after I’ve had a meal. I’m not sure whether to count this as another meal or not. Should I use the 30-30 rule? Or is it just a solid version of a protein shake. So I haven’t been paying attention one way or the other. Sometimes I do the 30-30 thing. Sometimes not.
So that adds 600 calories to my daily diet right there. It probably puts me around 1400-1600 calories a day — 600 from protein bars, 360 from protein shakes, and 600-700 from three meals.
I’m just not going to worry about this. If I’m hungry, I need to consume something. Protein or water really are the two choices here. Perhaps I should be drinking more water. Don’t know.
The other piece of bad news is that I have decided I hate my exercise program, which basically consists of getting on the elliptical machine several times a week.
In my life there have been several things that I find I have a hard time hating. These are usually things that people tell me are good for me, that I know I’m supposed to like, that I really want to like, but that I just can’t stand. So I end up doing this thing where I keep telling myself that I “want” to do something, then I half-assed do it, or I put it off, or I quit too easily.
Last week I found myself just not caring about my workout anymore. The week before I had moved my target pulse up a bit, and increased my workout time to 65 minutes. It was enough to get me a bit winded, but it didn’t seem too bad. Then, after a few workouts, I just lost interest. I’d get on, go for 10-15 minutes, then just not feel like doing it anymore. Usually the toughest part is the first 20 minutes, where your body is first adjusting to the intensity, but heck, even after 30 or 40 minutes I’d be ready to get off. I wasn’t feeling like I was getting anything accomplished. Just standing there sweating. It was like being on an endless treadmill that stretched out as far as the eye could see. A lifetime of standing in one place and sweating while I played cards on my iPad.
Not so much.
So I gotta mix it up some. Take a class. Start jogging. I really, really, really need to shift gears. But for now, I’ll probably just go back to the elliptical. Bah.
On the good side, my energy levels are coming back close to normal, and I’m getting to an understanding with my lower bowels. We have had our problems in the past few months, but plenty of liquids and more solid foods seems to make things fine there. Enough said.
So with all of that negative energy, I was pretty down about the whole thing the past couple of days. Five weeks ago I was 220 pounds. The next week? 219. Then I was 217. Then last week 217 again. Then the exercise problems began. My eating increased. It was not looking too good. I was really tempted to start drinking caffeine and alcohol again. Tea in the morning and a few drinks on Friday nights. These things helped me maintain an equilibrium. But they also were highly influential in making me eat too dang much.
Did I mention one of my clients is one of these new high tech companies? They have an open kitchen with all the food you could want to eat provided — free. There’s beer in the fridge. There’s a popcorn machine. I was looking for salt the other day and found an entire cabinet dedicated to fine teas. Yikes!
So I resisted the urge to go back to bad habits. At least for now. I made it home, hit the sack, then got up this morning and weighed.
I was down 4 pounds, to 213. That’s a total of 7 pounds over the past four weeks. Not terrific, but about 2 pounds per week. A few months of that and I’ll be at my target weight, plus 2 pounds a week is actually an optimum rate to lose. Perhaps I really should be easier on myself.
I think it’s easier for you, the reader, to consume this. You’re probably reading from the distant future. You already know how it’s all going to work out. “Oh, this is chapter 20 in the book where the guy loses 150 pounds” you might think. Gee, don’t know what the big deal was. He simply had a plateau for a while. Or you could be thinking “This is the blog entry for that guy at work. You know, the one that lost all that weight then gained it all back? Looks like at one point he was almost 210 pounds. Wonder what the heck happened to him? Guess some people just aren’t ever going to get straightened out, huh?”
From the future, this is all fairly simplistic, even trivial. What was this schmuck obsessing over so much, anyway? Doesn’t he know that he gets hit by a bus the following month? All that worrying and fussing isn’t going to change anything.
Living it, however, is a different can of worms. I didn’t know until this morning that I had lost 4 pounds over the past week. Before I got on the scale, looking at all the eating I had been doing, and the lack of exercise, my best guess was that I had gained between 1 and 2 pounds. When I saw the loss, I was as surprised as I could be. Now, of course, I can say “Sure was great losing those four pounds. Sometimes you just have to take a break from exercising and let your body catch up” But 1 hour ago it was a different story.
Things always look different in hindsight, and there are many things we do not understand about weight loss, no matter what the books and TV shows will tell you. So I think it’s always going to be a struggle. I’m just not sure I want to spend my life struggling so much.If you've read this far and you're interested in Agile, you should take my No-frills Agile Tune-up Email Course, and follow me on Twitter.