Results tagged “Daniel”

"The righteous man walks in his integrity..." Prov. 20:7a

Every week there are news reports about men who gave in to temptations and compromised what they said they believed. We hear countless reports about dishonest business dealings, hidden infidelity, and hypocritical leaders. It's so easy to focus on these things and ignore those who are being honest, faithful and genuine. As you continue in the "30-Day Encouragement Challenge," determine to look for ways that your husband stands against the culture.

"I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me." Song of Solomon 7:10

Today's challenge from from ReviveOur Hearts is regarding intimacy in marriage. This is not one that I am going to discuss here in my blog.

Some things the challenge suggests are to focus on where you are and to praise your husband for his skills.

"With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love." Eph. 4:2

We tend to say the most hateful things to the ones we are closest to. Perhaps because we expect them to put up with it. Perhaps it's because we see them more than anyone else and we simply can't hide our 'bad' side forever. And we are human. We are going to lash out when we are having a bad day, and unfortunately those closest to us bear the brunt of this.

However, it is our job to minimize this behavior and to apologize when we fail. Sometimes, I find myself thinking about all of my husband's faults. And I find myself thinking about how lucky he is to have someone like me who is easy to get along with and loving and cleans up after herself and...

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." Eph. 5:22

This verse is one that throws many women into a tizzy. They talk of how archaic it is and how it means women should become doormats. It doesn't mean that at all. It simply means that we are to respect our husbands. Husbands are supposed to put our well being above their own.

Check out these verses:

28 In this way husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, 29 for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it, as the Christ also does the congregation, 30 because we are members of his body. - Eph 5:28-29

"Behold you are handsome, my beloved! Yes, pleasant!..." Song of Solomon 1:16a

Remember what it was that first drew you to your husband?

When I met Daniel, I thought he was extremely attractive. Shoulder length black wavy hair, beautiful blue eyes, a charming smile. And we hit it off right away. We had a lovely conversation and we shared interest in things like Star Trek. The first few weeks we dated, he would call me, long distance and talk for an hour (this was back in the day when long distance was 25 cents a minute! He asked to read (and actually read) poetry I had written. He was full of fun and loved to do interesting things. He was spontaneous, kind and friendly.

Now, 18 years later, the hair is no longer black or long. But the eyes are still blue. We still have common interests combined with 18 years of memories. Of obstacles overcome, problems resolved, joys shared, dreams attained, love, laughter, and tears. We have two beautiful children as a result of our joining.

"...be swift to hear, slow to speak..." James 1:19b

I have always been told it is better to be a good listener instead of someone who talks all of the time. This is something true not just in marriage, but in friendships. I mean, how boring would it be for everytime someone visited you that all they did was talk, talk, talk....

I don't know about you, but I also have a tendency to only half listen. The other half or me is either busy thinking of what I am going to say in response or thinking about my 'to do' list. I have been working hard this last year to be a better listener to everyone. When I get on the phone, I turn away from my computer and do something like wash dishes or crochet. This keeps my hands busy and helps my mind to focus.

"...but who can find a faithful man?" Prov. 20:6b

Faithfulness is a wonderful but rare quality today, especially in regard to marriage. Do
you understand how important this quality is? Your challenge is to continue to root out
all negative speaking, and plant seeds of encouragement instead. You may be amazed
at what will grow.

Contemporary culture often entices men to be unfaithful to their wedding vows and
spiritual commitments. Appreciate your husband's faithfulness - how he is loyal to you.
Let him know that you are glad he has "stick-to-it-iveness" in your marriage. Appreciate
his faithfulness to God. (If you have an unfaithful husband, this is a difficult area for you.
Pray, speak the truth in love, remain faithful yourself, and discover ways to encourage
faithfulness in your mate. The Bible says that husbands may "...be won by the conduct
of their wives" [1 Pet. 3:1]. You may also want to seek counsel from a mature, godly
individual or couple.) - Revive Our Hearts

I am blessed to be married to a faithful husband.

"Do not overwork to be rich; because of your own understanding, cease!...for riches certainly make themselves wings..." Prov. 23:4-5

"That I may cause those who love me to inherit wealth, that I may fill their treasuries." Proverbs 8:21

Money is the root of much marital discord. Ask yourself, "Am I being negative toward my husband in the area of finances?" Determine not to speak evil of your husband in this area. Discover ways to encourage and help him instead.

If he is weak in this area, encourage any good decisions that he does make. Perhaps you can help him, if he's open to the idea, by organizing financial files or providing other practical assistance. Or, if he wants you to handle the finances, ask for his input before you make decisions that will affect him. - Revive Our Hearts

Money has often been a source of discord in our family. We deal with it better these days than we did when we were younger. We used to have terrible arguments. Daniel has made some great choices. Last year, we had money to visit Australia which is something we both have long wanted to do. But he thought about it and decided it would be better if we spent the money on paying off a debt. We don't always make the best financial decisions, but we are doing better and working together always helps.

"...whatever ye do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Cor. 10:31b

Do you recognize and appreciate your husband's creativity? Or do you criticize and
demean his efforts? Instead of negativity, determine to be positive. Perhaps you can
help your husband see that his efforts are an opportunity to glorify God.

Make his day...Praise his accomplishments in public, while he is listening. -- Revive Our Hearts

With my husband away, praising him where he can hear is tough. But I know from my own personal experience that there is nothing better than when someone compliments me in front of others. He will be home tonight and I will make sure to remember the suggestion for today.

There are so many things that he does well. I particuarly love to hear him play the piano and to see the photographs he has taken. I was also very impressed with his commitment and the thoroughness with which he obtained his private pilot's license. He worked really hard at that and went the extra mile with extra studies and taking lessons that weren't required in aerobatics.

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for
necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Eph. 4:29

Another way to describe the positive side of this "30-Day Encouragement Challenge" is
by using the word "edify," which means, "to build up." Negative comments only
discourage and tear down. Positive comments encourage and build.

Do you praise your husband to his relatives, and yours? Does your husband's mother
know how much you love him? How about your dad? Perhaps you can drop a word of
praise into a conversation or letter. Be creative in letting your relatives know that you
respect your husband, love him, and support him - in spite of whatever flaws and
weaknesses he may have. - Revive Our Hearts

I learned this lesson the hard way. Early on in our relationship, I was too open with my mother about my complaints and unhappinesses. My mother still holds those early times against my husband. And it is something that is hard to undo, once done. When I speak to my mother-in-law, I never complain or fuss about my husband. I also do work at telling people the good things my husband does and keeping my complaints to myself or talking them over with him.

It is important for all of us to remember that if we think 'bad' thoughts in our heart, that they will rule the way we act. That's why I believe Jesus said that for a man to even look at a woman was the same as having an affair with her. I think he was trying to show us how powerful our thoughts are.

"...let him labor, working with his hands what is good..." Eph. 4:28

We are all accountable for the things we say, both negative and positive words. Have
you embraced the challenge to speak only positive things to your husband and to others
about him?

If your husband is out of work, unable to work, or refuses to work, you'll need to be more
creative. Praise him for a character quality that you see in him that would be a vital part
of a successful career - such as persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind,
organizational skills, good with people, good listener, determination, etc. from Revive Our Hearts.com

I try to listen to my hubby when he talks about his work. Because he does computer stuff, sometimes what he talks about goes over my head. Daniel is a hard worker and sometimes works way too hard. When he gets into a project, he focuses on it and it is hard to get him to take a break and do anything else.

"...love suffers long, and is kind..." 1 Cor. 13:4

"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ
Jesus." Phil. 4:19

From today's challenge:

"Love indeed suffers long and is kind. As you consider your Encouragement Challenge,
determine today that you will not say anything negative to or about your husband.
Speak kindly to him with words of genuine encouragement.

If your husband is considerate of your needs, let him know that you have noticed. Thank
him for his kindness and consideration. Thank the Lord that your husband knows how to
be both tough and tender."

This week, we are supposed to be getting a new sidewalk. We have one made of white rock, but the rock tends to slip under foot and with my knee that has gotten a bit temperamental in its old age, the rock puts more strain on it. So Daniel is having a concrete sidewalk put in to take away that hazard for me.

Thanks, sweetie!

"...through love serve one another." Gal. 5:13b

Today's challenge was to find ways that my husband is serving me and my family. This is not a hard thing to do, though sometimes, I lose sight of what he does and don't feel it is enough. I am trying to do better.

My husband is currently serving us by working away from home. He is working in Illinois to make the money to support our family and to pay our past bills. He leaves his home and his family for days on end. He eats a lot of fast food, puts up with a lot of travel woes, and goes to sleep and wakes up alone.

Other ways he serves us is by being willing to help me achieve whatever goals I set for myself. He encourages me to keep learning and he reminds me not to put myself on the back burner. He works so I can homeschool our children. He broadens my horizons. He plays with the children. He calls from Illinois to talk to them. He listens to what they have to say.

Thanks, Sweetie!

Jen is taking the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and so I thought I would join her. I need to focus more on the positives of my husband and encouraging him instead of letting the daily grind and small frustrations be the source of my thoughts of him and actions towards him.

“The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does
him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Prov. 31:11-12

Daniel is working on a business idea that I helped him with over the internet a bit last night. He is in Illinois working. I just sent him an email with some ideas and told him that I loved him.